Vote of Approval
by Ezereal
Summary: Nigma falls sick, and demands Jonathan to go out and buy him some puzzles. Jonathan thinks he's smart and will be able to accomplish them, but no. Slight Scarecrow/Riddler


**In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight... It's catchy, okay? Thanks to EmilyPineapple for helping with an idea, though I tweaked it a bit. If you already figured out, all of my Scarecrow/Riddler fics are closely related to each other. The only one you would need to read before this one is Riddle Me This, Scarecrow- That's where everything got its start.**

* * *

He was sick. He came into my house, plopped down onto the couch, and fell asleep. No greeting, no nothing. He just came in and fell asleep. He even managed to regurgitate whatever it was he ate all over my floor, leaving me to clean it up. What am I, a doctor or something? This isn't a hospital!

Nigma blinked his eyes open and flashed a weak smile toward me, where I sat on my chair reading _'Murder at Deviation Junction.' _"Hello, Jonny," he whispered, flinging an arm over the arm of the couch. Why he did that, I have no clue. "Enjoying your book?"

"Meh, it's alright... I've got two people arguing over whether tangerines are the same as oranges or not," I replied, not taking my eyes off the book.

"They do look the same... Are they the same?"

"How should I know? I'm not a fruitologist..."

"Is that even a word?"

"I don't know! What do you want?"

"I'm bored," he whined, flopping onto his back.

"Well, you're sick. You should expect to be bored."

"I thought your house was fun, Jonny! It's just boring... Like an old man's house. There's nothing to do here."

"I'm not an old man!" I growled as I gave Nigma a stern glare. "Besides, there's plenty books to read."

"Your books are all boring! What about puzzle books? Crossword puzzles? Joke books? Riddles?"

"You know all the answers to every riddle anyone could think of. Why read them?"

"They're still fun, Jonny... Can you go out and get me some?"

"Why should I? You should be _resting, _because you're _sick.__"_

"I'm not- Wait, yes I am, but pleeeeaaase, Jonny? I'll love you forever!"

"Can you go a day without a puzzle?" I asked, placing my bookmark in between the pages and setting my book down on the side table.

"Nope," he said, making the straightest face possible for him.

"Fine. I'll get you one. But if you finish it, I'm not getting you a new one." I stood up, throwing on my jacket and slipping on my shoes. "You better be asleep when I'm gone," I told him. I waited for him to give me a nod of approval before I stepped outside. And with my luck, it was raining...

He always had _me _go out to get whatever it was he needed... Maybe we should put him through therapy in order to calm his constant need for puzzles, if he hasn't tried that already. I got to the store and received a few odd stares from the other customers and faculty of the small building. Of course, they knew who I was- everyone did. Jonathan Crane, otherwise known as the Scarecrow. They made the right choice to stay away from me. I didn't want any trouble today. I made my way down to the magazine/books isle, looking at the different puzzle books they had assorted on the many shelves. I picked out three- A giant book of crossword puzzles, expert level; a book of riddles; and a medium-sized book of assorted word searches. Knowing him, he'd probably finish every single one of them and have the riddles finished within an hour.

I brought the items to the checkout counter, where the cashier rang them up. What really set me off was how they had to go starting an actual _conversation. _Nobody else was in the line, since they avoided me, so he got to talk as long as he wanted. "Getting them for Riddler?" he asked.

"What's it matter to you?" I shot back. How did he know what I was here for?

"Woah, bad mood, aren't we? I was just asking, Professor."

I looked up at the cashier for the first time, seeing bandages covering every part of his face but eyes, mouth and nose. "Thomas? What are you doing here, working as a cashier? How _low _have you actually stooped this time?"

"Please don't speak of it. It's humiliating. Just take your stuff and get out."

"Whatever," I said, paying for the books and walking back out. Luckily, the rain had stopped, and I was dry by the time I got back home. "Nigma, I brought you your books," I called from the other end of the house. I dropped the books onto the table and strolled into the living room, where Nigma was resting.

I found him curled up in the fetal position on the top of the couch. Not the part where you sit, the part in the back where your _head _is supposed to go. Not your _whole body._

How can one even sleep like that? I know me, I have some weird sleeping tendencies- I have to sleep holding onto or cuddling something, so you'll find me just hugging a pillow. But him. _How _is that even _possible? _"Nigma, wake up!" I called, poking at his head.

His eyes opened groggily, blinking and staring at me. "Jonny... Some lions mate over fifty times a day, humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure, and a pig's orgasm lasts for thirty minutes." he mumbled, before dropping his head and falling back asleep.

"What?" I said, taking a step back in surprise. "I never expected to hear that from you... What are you dreaming about?" I shook my head, walking to the table, trying my hand at one of the crossword puzzles I bought him. How am I supposed to do these? Some of these were really odd-sounding, like 'pig's snuffle', 'three feet', and 'vote of approval'. I was about to give up when Nigma walked over, picking up a pen and filling in the boxes with fancy, curly letters.

"Silly Jonny. The answers are snort, yard, and yea. Not oinks, a bunch of question marks, and WTF. What kind of answers are those?" he asked, giving me an odd look.

"Pretty suitable answers, if you ask me," I muttered. "They fit in the boxes..."

"Sure, but nobody puts 'WTF' in a crossword puzzle. Kids do these things, Jonathan."

"I never did these as a kid."

"Jonathan! You are a disgrace to this household! Get out!"

"This is my house!"

"I know, my little Scarecrow. I was _joking._"

"It wasn't funny," I grumbled, crossing my arms.

"Party pooper. No cake for you," Nigma sang, unfolding my arms to give me a hug. Suddenly, a loud burst of music began to play.

_Hey, I just met you  
And this is crazy  
But here's my number  
So call me maybe_

"Nigma, _please _tell me that is not your phone."

_It's hard to look right  
At you baby  
But here's my number  
So call me maybe_

"Of course it is. It's only like... The best song ever," he told me, taking the phone out of his pocket. "It's just some number trying to sell me stuff."

"If it was a new ringtone, you should have answered it."

"No way!"

"You don't seem sick anymore," I whispered.

"I know, you made me feel much better, Jonny!" he called, pulling me into a tight hug.

"Time for you to leave!" I gently pushed him off of me, seeing him walk to the door, looking crushed.

He walked right out, but just moments later, he came back in. "Hey, did you know that some lions mate over fifty times a day?" he laughed, then walked back out again.

_I will never get what goes through that man's mind, _I thought to myself as I was finally able to get back to my much-desired work.


End file.
